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Home > Mothers' Group From A Father's Perspective
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Mothers' Group From A Father's Perspective by David Watson
When you mention the word mothers group to any father with a family, he probably conjures up images of women sitting around in a circle gossiping and complaining about how much time out on the water fishing he does. Well that's what I did anyway.
But truth be told, I stand corrected! Having experienced first hand this cohesive network of women I have gained a lot from its existence and so has my family.
If I was to describe to you what a mothers group is I would tell you that it is 8-10 first time mothers volunteering there vulnerability and deepest insecurities in a group situation that while initially organised by a local community centre, subsequently becomes a dedicated group sharing their experiences and providing compassion for years to come.The first year of our first son's life was a hectic time. I was travelling and working back late for work and my wife was left alone most of the time. I could sense her frustration many times when we talked over telephone about what was happening on the home front. It was easy for me to provide advice, especially when I wasn't there or didn't really have a full appreciation for what was going on. Most times I should have just listened, but being the typical male, I tried to fix everything.
As the mothers group became more familiar and the fabric of their relationships knitted tighter, I found our telephone conversations much more relaxing. Instead of telling me problems and issues and both of us trying to work them out, we were talking about how they were worked out based on advice and discussion within the mother's group gatherings. I am not for one minute suggesting that mothers groups are a substitute for active fathering, but forced with my situation, it was certainly helping to stop the pot from boiling.
Recently we had our second son. When he was 8 weeks old he contracted pneumonia. My wife was hospitalised with him as he was still being breastfed. Together they were in hospital for 5 days. I was left to care for our eldest son (now aged 2 years). Every single mother belonging to that mothers group had contacted me and offered babysitting, food, and their well wishes. I was completely overwhelmed at the strength and support from this merry group of women. On more than one night I found dinner on the doorstep (wrapped in ice bricks on one occasion), and even one night dinner and a can of beer! This much welcomed support has occurred more than this one time.
I am sure there are people out there who might have some negative experiences with mothers groups, I can imagine that people could clash with personalities, even high running hormones might cause some explosive situations, or some women might have the "I can take on the world" attitude. But from my point of view, this has been one of the most positive and beneficial experiences of my fatherhood. What started out as a mothers group fulfilling the needs of first time mothers, has become on occasion a social group who has picnics, BBQ's and Christmas parties together. For those women or partners considering it, or deciding whether it is worthwhile, I encourage you to give it a go, because in my opinion for first time families, you need all the support you can get.
Article - source: http://www.eqtrealestate.com/
About the Author
Article - source: http://www.eqtrealestate.com/
David is a Director and author for http://www.eqtrealestate.com/
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